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we are not the mere model of this monster before you
i assure you
this isn't meant to bore you
ignore you
did i mention
this division is fiction
a prism that glistens
with false realities
the analogy is simple
the temples in your eyes are lies
we are only here before you to romanticize
and finalize the details of our evolution
the solution, it's easy
can we be more than people
a sequel to this evil
it's not what i'm living for
not what i'm dying for
i'm trying your patience
the way hence is not the way forward
dont ignore words that you heard
for the absurd holds great rewards
like lords in a castle
this act will lay before you a plan
a guide for man
to come to a realization greater than "am"
understand?
©2006-2009 ~rustandwine
:iconrustandwine:

Author's Comments

my first attempt

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:iconmistressme0w:
Yeah.
This is awesome, but you should definatly let your voice make it golden.
:3

--
~Squishmitten~:heart:
:iconabu-jamal:
Very good. I don't have any critcal comments, since you can't judge poetry meant to be spoken emotively by it's words on a screen, butin my mind it sounded really good! :D

a prism that glistens
with false realities
the analogy is simple
the temples in your eyes are lies

-That part is really good, making it more personal by referring to the first two lines as analogies, and by putting the reader 'there' for the final line.

Five and a half thumbs up!

(ouch)

--
So I start off toward somewhere new.
And I know the beauty will come shining through
All this dark rain and unfriendly snow.
Yes, there’s always a tomorrow.

Details

May 14, 2006
967 bytes
8.6 KB
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